First of all, I have made it 33 days into 100 Days of Successful Weight Loss and that is officially 10 days longer than the last time.  I am giving myself high fives now.

Today I went to the gym after the kids left for school.  I did twenty minutes on the elliptical and twenty minutes on the bike.  While on the elliptical I got a thumbs up from a super beefy weightlifting guy in a Jesus t-shirt.  I was way more capable today on the elliptical than I was last week and it felt really good when I was done.  I also used the swimming pool Friday and Saturday with the kids and I am in LOVE with it.

They have a lazy river.  It is perfect.  I like to walk and swim against the current, it is relaxing and good for me all at the same time.  Eli and Alice are also in love with it.  Last night we were sitting at the table and I was talking to Travis about going in the  morning and Eli was very concerned that I was going to the CRC all by myself and was worried that I wasn’t going to have any fun.  He’s a sweet little guy.

I kind of dropped the ball on schoolwork last week, mostly I think this is because the kids had a week full of half days and Friday off.  I spent a lot of time last week at conferences and doing other things with my family and schoolwork took a backseat.  This means I have a crapload of reading and work to do in both of my classes.  Likely today will consist of catching up on reading and the two assignments from last week that are due today.

I have laundry to fold, that will be on my break I suppose.  As you can probably tell I am much less crazy bitch this week.  Sometimes I think I am an exhausting person.  Yikes.  Making an appt. with my NP to talk about out-of-whack hormones is on the to-do-list today.


Today’s chapter was all about postponing eating snack foods and things that I usually eat during unaware moments.  Like the three Funsize Snickers I just consumed.  I did postpone them though!  I wanted them at 1030, which means I postponed for 3 hours.  More high fives for me!  At work or holiday parties when tons of snackfoods or potluck meals are being served, like at our 1st annual holiday party coming up in February, it is easy to eat my weight in food that isn’t very good for me.  If I postpone till the end of the party to eat the foods that I really want to enjoy I trick myself into not eating very much of them because toward the end of the day or the party I will be in more of a rush and there may not be very much left.

Also, because I am eating to live and not living to eat I am not feeling deprived of anything by choosing not to eat very much of the food that is offered.  In fact I am feeling really smart and good about myself.

Today’s Takeaway:  Practice postponing food and be aware of how it feels to eat with awareness.  Even if I choose to eat the food the thought I put into it before putting it into my mouth means I am eating with awareness.


We are starting the third part of the book with Day 31 and this next 10 days focuses on listening to what my body tells me.  Today specifically discusses listening to my hunger, rating it on a hunger scale, and learning to recognize the signs my body gives me to indicate hunger or need.

Often emotional eaters completely tune out the signals their bodies give, and the same can be said for unaware eaters.  If I decide I am hungry I eat and sometimes I eat until I hurt.  This is the hunger scale I want to follow:

  • 0: Not hungry
  • -1: Kind of hungry
  • -2: Super duper hungry
  • -3: Fucking starving

I don’t want to eat when I am at a 0, but I don’t want to wait until I am at a -3.  I think I should probably eat when I am at the end of -1 and the beginning of -2.  Sometimes we are not in an area where we can get good food when we need it according to the hunger scale.  This is where it becomes important to pack healthy good foods to have with me in case of situations like that.  It is my responsibility to make that happen right?  Right.

Funny story, Eli was looking at a map of Nevada that Travis has in his car and found out the the coolest thing exists there.  Buffets where you can go and eat until you hurt.  He very excitedly told his cousin Reece this on the way to the swimming pool on Saturday.

Today’s Takeaway: Don’t eat until you hurt and don’t wait until you hurt to eat.


Some people have a harder time gauging their hunger on a scale for whatever reason, so sometimes you have to do things differently as a way to work up to be able to pay attention to physical cues.  It is recommended that I try to eat small meals every three hours.  At this time in my life I can totally do this small meal every three hours idea, but if for some reason I find myself out with no way to eat every three hours I should try to go no longer than 5 hours without eating something.

This is where having healthy snacks that I can use in those situations comes in handy.  Sometime this week when I decide to go grocery shopping for real, I will have some healthy snacks that I can bag up into individual servings that I can take along with me.  The bottom line is I feel better when I eat better and I have the power to make the choices that enable me to do that.

*this is me stepping up to the plate*

Also, our sex life is better when I am healthy and active.  If I want to continue having the ability to have an orgasm I need to continue working out and eating right.  It’s all connected!  I’m late the the party I know.

Healthy snack ideas anyone?

Today’s Takeaway:  plan meals and snacks that enable me to succeed.


I laughed when I read today’s chapter.  It talks about the fullness scale.  I think I listen less to the fullness scale than the hunger scale.  That is totally leftover from my late teens foray into meth-amphetamines and I lived on little to no food for over a year.  I got used to what my body felt like when it was hungry.  I was able to figure out my patterns of most intense hunger so I could gauge how long I would feel it before it went away again.  It was usually 20 minutes every 8 hours.  I eventually dysfunctioned this into a positive thing and now every time I wait too long to eat I slip into the habit of feeling proud of myself for being hungry.  Fucked up right?  I t takes constant awareness to stay out of that trap; it isn’t as exhausting as it used to be.  This can also explain why sometimes I eat until I am so full it is painful.

Anyway, the fullness scale looks like this:

0: not hungry, not full

1: satisfied, not full or uncomfortable

2: really full, uncomfortable

3: stuffed, can’t move, difficult to breath.

I want to eat until I am at level 1.  I want to be satisfied and not uncomfortable.  I do not have to keep eating because it is there.  It is okay for me to leave some food on my plate to either save for later or not.  There are physical cues to being overly full as well.  Distended bellies, difficulty breathing, undoing the belt buckle to make room for the expansion.  I used to wear sweatpants to Thanksgiving so I could eat more and still be comfortable.  HA!

Today’s Takeaway: Pay attention to my body and what it is telling me.


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