I threw my scale in the garbage 10 minutes ago.  I moved it to different areas of the house and stepped on it to see what devil numbers it was going to give me.  In the office I weigh 20 lbs. more than I do in the kitchen.  The garbage is where that motherfucker belongs.  I am going to the doctor later this month for a refill on my anti-depressants, I will get weighed there.  The last time I was there I was 231, I will weigh less when I go next time because I have been rocking the shit out of the meandering path of health I have been one for the last 11 days.  I don’t need a scale in my home, and I don’t want one in my home either.  That scale was an asshole and it deserves to be covered in refuse.  I night go throw some dirty cat litter on it for good measure.  Take that devil scale…TAKE THAT.

I thought my kitten was dying this morning.  He had puked last night and then continued to puke intermittently throughout the afternoon.  He was also crying and whenever anyone touched him he would cry harder.  I married a farm boy and the vet was out of the question (if I had the funds of my own I would have taken him in).  Said farm boy also threatened to kick my sick kitten because he stepped in some puke.  I was not amused.  I am still not amused.  Be a farm boy but don’t be a fucking dick.  Soda has since stopped throwing up, started purring again, and has been playing with us.  Someone had a sore tummy.  I think he is better now.  I am still angry and my face hurts from frowning so much.

I didn’t work out today.  We were going to go for a walk but I didn’t want to leave Soda alone, and Eli has been coughing and stuffy, it was wet and chilly out so it seemed like keeping him in and out of it was the best course of action.  I did stay under my calories again, although I am hungry now and might eat something small before going to bed.  The Walking Dead starts again tonight.  Zombie fever!  I will be back on the workout train tomorrow.  If it’s nice out I will totally be taking a walk, if it isn’t, well my living room and YouTube sound just fine.

Today’s reading talked about the two purposes of food.  Remember when I said we would revisit that whole food thing?  Well here we are.  The two purposes of food are: to fuel my body, and to appreciate flavors.  “I eat to live I do not live to eat.”  Grandma Patti is a smart lady.  The author suggests measuring my food intake against those guidelines, and if it doesn’t match either one than she says it’s safe to say that I am participating in emotional eating.  This brings up something interesting; am I an emotional eater?  I really am not sure.  I think I am just an inattentive eater.  I used to eat what I wanted when I wanted with no thought about what it was or what it was doing to my body.  If I wanted two bagels loaded with cream cheese I would eat two bagels loaded with cream cheese.  I didn’t eat them because I was attempting to fulfill some hole in my life with something tangible.  It tasted good and I wanted to eat it so I did.

Hello thirty extra pounds!  Where did you come from?  Oh yeah…

My body needs fuel to run efficiently.  There are varying qualities of fuel.  It is my job as a healthy person to determine the highest quality fuel and put it into my body.  It is also my job to determine low quality fuel and steer clear of it.  High quality fuel isn’t gross, but after a lifetime of ingesting low quality fuel it takes some getting used to.  I used to hate my vegetables, now I love them.  I have developed a love of their taste.  Maybe in the beginning I had to pretend to love them while I choked them down, but that pretending turned into appreciation.

It is suggested that I should eat about 6 small meals a day instead of 3 large ones.  This isn’t anything new, but finally I am listening.  Often I will eat while doing homework and this sometimes means that I am dragging a meal that I could be consuming in 15 minutes to an hour or two.  I am totally okay with that and I have not learned about anything that tells me this is a bad habit to get into.  Unless it’s yogurt and granola because that gets soggy and gross and I end up not finishing it.

Today’s catchphrase:  “I eat to live I do not live to eat.”


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