Holy hell! My body hurts. It is screaming at me in ways that I do not like, but actually kind of like at the same time (I am purposely lying to myself here, I don’t like it at all, I hate it, but if I claim to like it more and more, eventually I will like it). I did some strength training this morning; biceps, triceps, and inner thighs. After that the whole family went for an hour long walk on one of the trails around our area. I also stayed under my calories for the day and have enough left to have a pear or an apple tonight before I go to bed. I feel successful today and that is always good.
Today the book talks about diets vs. lifestyle changes. I hate both of those ideas. Diets reek of deprivation to me and depriving myself of anything always leads to me shouting, “fuck it! I will do what I want!” I don’t want that to happen this time. So instead I have the option of looking at this as a lifestyle change, which just sounds . . . well . . . I don’t know what it sounds like, but I know it grates on me in a way I don’t necessarily like. I am being healthy. I am doing what it takes to be healthy. That involves making conscious choices about the food I put in my face and the exercise I make my body engage in.
The author uses a pretty effective metaphor asking me to look at my health plan as a road with boundaries instead of a plan with rigid and inflexible rules. With boundaries instead of rules I give myself permission to stay within the lines instead of walking an incredibly straight line. Boundaries make it possible for me to not hate myself for falling off the straight line my rigid rules tell me I have to stay on. With rigid rules I see any falter as a failure and I often end up deciding that since I have fucked up a little bit I may as well fuck up a lot for the rest of the day. That generally ends with me deciding to fuck off the entire diet and then I gain all the weight I lost and more. With boundaries I have two sides of a road and I need to stay within those lines, I can get as close as I want to either side of the road without the fear of failing and throwing my plan out the window while I dance into the forest with a box of pie.
To keep track of my boundaries I use My Fitness Pal. It takes a little discipline to track all the food I eat and all the exercise I engage in, but it helps keep me between the sides of the road that I have chosen to walk on. I have begun making better choices automatically because tracking my food is helping me learn what is healthy and what is not. At the weight I am at now, 231, I can eat 1260 calories a day if I want to lose 2 lbs. a week. I have given myself leeway here too because if I go over my allotted calories I will still be on a weight loss track, it just might not be 2 lbs. of loss that week, and that is okay. I also have access to graphs and breakdowns of my intake so I can get a better idea of where I need to make adjustments for my health.
There is no catchphrase today, but I do have to remember to drink more water. I have been having quite a few headaches and I think that not enough water is the likely culprit. My Fitness Pal provides a spot to track my water intake, so that will be easy enough.