” . . . you reason that since you’ve already blown it, you can go ahead and eat more.  Soon you get discouraged with your behavior and eventually you quit your diet completely.”

Sounds familiar right?  Coincidentally I am watching GMA right now and they are interviewing a man who has lost 140 lbs.  Wow!  I can lose 30 lbs.  It isn’t like I truly believe I am incapable.  Instead I am thinking with a negative outlook instead of a positive one, and that makes all the difference.  As a younger Sarah, the one who was apathetic, out of control, and neglectful, I allowed my past to dictate my future.  I decided that I acted the way I acted because of experiences I have had in the past.  I justified my behavior by pulling on history that hurt me.  I gave myself permission to give up, and I handed all control of the situation to someone else as a way to keep myself blameless.

I am not that Sarah anymore, except when it comes to my weight and physical activity level.  So what do I need to remember?  That my past does not predict my future and I can make decisions that are not attached to the dysfunction that is present in my history.

I tend not to make generalizations, I try very hard to refrain from that, but again when it comes to my health I make rampant generalizations that are harmful to my self-esteem and my ability to develop willpower and motivation.  Counterproductive much?

I started my day out with oatmeal and will be taking a walk to the post office later to mail a bill.  It’s a first step in a future of many more.


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