Day Ten: I Give You Permission To Expect Things From Me (*gasp* who said that?)

First of all, you don’t need my permission to have expectations of me, obviously.  I just generally don’t take them into account.  The biggest reason is that, no one has expectations of me that match the expectations I have for myself.  If we are talking about expectations for behavior, then I super extra don’t take them into account because I am aware of how to make the best choices for myself and my family.  We all work with the information we have and adapt as knowledge and understanding grow.  I have been adapting like a motherfucker these last few years.

The last two days I have told you what I expect from you, way to be a hypocrite huh?  Today I tell you what you can expect from me.  Linda wants me to learn how to appreciate good support.  This is something I am really fucking bad at.  Just ask Travis.  It is way easier for me to accept compliments from my friends or strangers than it is to accept compliments from my husband.  Wait?  What?

I snatched this from Leah who grabbed it from a post about compliments at thegiftofalifetime.net

Compliments are fucking rad!  Everyone should get compliments all the time!  Am I meaning to say that I feel I am unworthy of compliments when I believe that everyone else IS worthy?  That absolutely CANNOT be what I am saying.  Um…because that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life.  It brings us to the first expectation I promise to acknowledge.

My support network can expect me to respond to compliments graciously, positively, and in a way that affirms not only my total awesomeness, but also theirs.

If you give me a compliment you can expect that I will say thank you with no explanations of how far I have to go still.  You can expect that I will not force you to focus on some physical part of my body that simply isn’t good enough yet.  You can expect that your compliment will truly mean to me what I tell you it means while I am accepting it.

My support network can expect that I will not ask them stupid questions about my physical appearance and how it affects them.

seriously now.

Instead of asking you if I look fat I will instead ask how how awesome I look on a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being totally awesome and ten being awesome times infinity.  If I ask you at any time if any part of my “fat” body bothers you I give you permission to bitch slap me and remind me that my jubbly parts are not a matter of concern to anyone but me.  Self-degradation is not awesome.

deg·ra·da·tion

[deg-ruh-dey-shuhn]  Show IPA

noun

1. the act of degrading.
2. the state of being degraded.
3. Physical Geography . the wearing down of the land by theerosive action of water, wind, or ice.
4. Chemistry . the breakdown of an organic compound.

 

How about emotional geography?  The wearing down of self-esteem by the erosive action of telling yourself or being told by others that you are not good enough.

 

It is not your job to keep me on track and you have the right to expect that I will actively make decisions about my health and my goals that are beneficial to me.

 

 

Today’s exercises ask me to ask all of you, my support network of friends, followers, and family, to compliment me, on anything you choose.  This way I can practice accepting compliments without degrading myself or you in the process.  I also have to come up with a few good responses to the compliments I receive today.
  • Thank you.
  • You are so nice, thanks for making me smile!
  • You’re right, I do look awesome!
  • Your support means so much to me, thanks for offering it!
Today’s Commitments
  • Jillian Michaels
  • free write introduction and conclusion
  • discussion questions
  • walk around town after lunch, it’s going to be Springy today!
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s