I have figured out how to work out with Jillian Michaels. First, be technologically handicapped and flounder in frustration when I can’t figure out how switch the sound to Video 3. Second, ignore all the little voices telling me that this is a PERFECT excuse for not working out. Totally understandable and excusable. Then workout anyway in silence, listening instead to the breath that is sustaining me through a really fucking tough 20 minutes.
More than anything right now I want to go on about how I totally hate her. But I can’t, because I am coming to realize that I don’t. Tough love is the only thing that has ever worked for me and my relationships, why would it be any different within the confines of my relationship with food and exercise. Her workouts are damn effective, when I am committed to doing them.
Day Seven is here. I have cheated once. Last night, after finishing the rough draft of my research paper. I ate a bowl of generic lucky charms (the marshmallows are better) with skim milk. I also ate 4 packages of Skinny Cow (insulting!) candy.
Last night I guess I was more interested in my success than committed. The lovely spin is that I understand that I ate too much, but I also totally learned that I am NOT ready to have food like that in the house, even if it is better for me than regular candy. I am just not ready, and that my friends is a valuable piece of information. I have extra ammo to use against myself when making the decision to buy more Skinny Cow products right now or not.
Today Linda has asked me to pat myself on the back for making it to Day Seven, she also wants to know how I feel about it. The answer surprised me a little bit. The first thought that came to me was that, I feel successful and capable. I have consistently followed the books advice and I have developed a plan for myself that is healthy and attainable. That was the first step. I did it, and you can goddamn bet I deserve a pat on the back for it!
It made me wonder why this time is different. Why was I able to choose to derail myself yesterday with choices of too much candy and cereal without feeling like an abject failure? How is it that THIS time I woke up the next morning, still totally dedicated to my health and actually excited to do yoga with Tara Stiles.
Usually this is where I start doubting my ability to be successful. I’m not doing that this time, and I have to say, it makes the whole process a little easier to adapt into my daily life. Linda wants to know why I know I can be successful this time.
- I have logic on my side
- I have begun to grasp the emotional process that I use as an excuse to derail myself
- I am finally determined to hold myself responsible for my choices in regards to my food and my exercise
- I am more aware of my personal capabilities (uh…awesome)
- I am embracing my sweat (which I have always referred to as skin pee)
Linda also asks me to find ways to inspire myself as it relates to my healthy goals. The best way to inspire myself is to look at pictures of the way I looked two years ago, which is where I want to be again.
Day Seven’s Exercises ask me to use positive affirmations at least 10 times today. Language is powerful, I will use it to my benefit. Repeating these affirmations can help me stay on track, and when I decide to go off-roading, they will serve to lead me back.
- I can do it because I am physically capable.
- I can do it because I have done it before.
- I can do it because I have no logical excuse not to.
- I can do it because I am emotionally capable.
- I can do it because I have a support system of smart and amazing human beings to remind me how awesome I am.
- Tara Stiles (the last workout in week one)
- Kindergarten Roundup
- Write the rough draft for my final in my OTHER class.
- Stick to the 6:30 food cutoff.