Day Five: I Talk About The Magic Of Talking To Yourself

In the past when I tried to follow self-help books I started with a rigid set of rules concerning how I was going to follow the advice.  Today Linda Spangle and I discussed what she refers to as a magic notebook.  In the past I would have looked for a notebook that I could designate as magic, it would end up being a 50 cent composition notebook from the dollar store and I would have gamely struggled for a few days to find the right way to make it magic to me.

Today you just Google magic notebooks and it takes you to a store that sells awesome notebooks that you want to buy for your budding author of a daughter, who prefers paper and ink over technology any day.

I briefly thought about the magic notebook, and quickly realized that I already have two.  More than that I suppose if I count my awesome fitness group on Facebook, which I DO!  Three, I have three magic notebooks at my disposal, and because of technology (oh shit wait!  I have FOUR because I have to count my phone that connects me to each of the three magic notebooks immediately AND has a notebook app of it’s own, so does that make five then?). I have 5 magic notebooks at my disposal, each of them connects me to real people who I know love me and wish me no harm, who will provide the moral support I need in any situation I am facing.

I have the magic notebook situation totally under control.  NEXT.

Linda discusses what we should write about in our magic notebooks.  I was a little leery of this exercise as I am not really copacetic with anyone telling me what I should or should not do.  Which kind of makes it hard to tackle a self-help book so I soothed my bristles and listened to her for a minute.

"Don't tell me what I can't do!"

Food cravings do me in.  That is when I need to refer back to the exercise about making excuses (which, incidentally is another great thing about my magic notebooks, I have access to all my earlier posts as ways to keep me positively on track) and then I don’t make the excuse and I make the good choice because I made a commitment to do so.

Yesterday I was out of the house at dinner time and by the time I got somewhere I could get something to eat, it was after my self-imposed 6:30pm cut off time.  Was I tempted to stop at McDonald’s for a Shamrock Shake?  You fucking better believe it.  And when I went into SuperAmerica to buy a turkey sandwich and veggie cup do you think I was tempted by the literal aisle of candy and cookies and chips and Little Debbie cakes that led to the healthy food?  Oh yes my friend.  I was sorely tempted.  Sort of like DJ Jesus in Temptasia.

If you haven't seen this cartoon and Adult Swim is your thing, then I expect you to get on it, like now.

The big question I was dying to know was, could I possibly make it out of that hell store with ONLY a turkey sandwich and vegetables?

Why, Yes I could, and Yes I did.

Back to listening to Linda about writing my cravings in my notebook.  It makes sense to me, because as she says, getting it out of your skull and onto a piece of paper or blog removes the bulk of its power to entice you.  I do this with Envisage all the time, more so after the attempted murder than now, but more than enough to recognize the logicality of the exercise.

Oh sweet hostess cupcake, I will eat you someday, alas, not today.

I made it out of the gas station with healthy food and my sanity intact, I ate the food before 8pm as my backup plan asked me to, and didn’t eat anything else before collapsing in bed at 1:30am.

Day Five’s Exercise asks me to write down the the foods I am craving and to promise to allow myself to have them someday, just not today.  The cupcake has released its power on me (this is a funny sentence and I can’t read it without snorting) because I have recognized it as something I want and have told myself that I can have it some other time, just not today.  It is kind of awesome the power that statement holds.  I still want it, but the desire for it is not wearing away my resolve to be healthy.  In addition to that I am no longer allowing my desire to be my excuse.  If I choose to eat a cupcake today it is because I choose to do it and the responsibility lies with no one but me.

Also, when I do allow myself to eat that fucking cupcake it’s not going to be one from the gas station.  Oh hell no.  It’s going to be homemade ones that make my taste-buds feel like fainting.

I am going to write "I love you" on every single one of them, because let's face it, I love them almost as much as I love myself.


Daily commitments:

  • Yoga with Tara Stiles
  • Finish my paragraph and start the 2nd one
  • Write down my cravings and tell them to fuck off until another day
  • Drink more water



One thought on “Day Five: I Talk About The Magic Of Talking To Yourself

  1. This entire post is awesome. That’s one of my biggest problems – cravings. I also appreciate our Fitness Blog and it has helped me more than anything ever has (P90, the chain gym I briefly went to, the significant other, etc). The support there is just awesome!

    Also – I love your pictures in this post – especially Locke!

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