Dictionary.com defines commitment like this:
http://sp.dictionary.com/dictstatic/d/g/speaker.swf [kuh-mit-muhnt] Show IPA
1. the act of committing.
2. the state of being committed.
3. the act of committing, pledging, or engaging oneself.
4. a pledge or promise; obligation: We have made a commitment to pay our bills on time.
5. engagement; involvement: They have a sincere commitment to religion.
Linda Spangle describes me to a T in her Day Two activities. I cannot count the amount of time I have spent lying in bed, awake at midnight, going through a list of the things I am going to do to be better tomorrow, they always start with Yoga or exercise. I plan out a schedule that will work like nothing else. I make my midnight commitment, turn over, go to sleep, and wake up the next morning with only a vague recollection of what my brilliant plan consisted of. I eat a donut for breakfast while thinking about how I should be working out. Turns out I’m not committed at all, I am at best vaguely interested in expending the energy necessary to turn my body back into the one I loved so much two years ago. It also turns out that that is fucking stupid.
Vague interest be damned! Commitment is not scary, I am not a teenage girl afraid of being hurt. I am a grown up women who has everything that can be under control, under control except . . . wait . . . except what?
My Day Two exercise asked me to write about how I would commit this time. Easy!
I used to talk to myself about all the stuff I did wrong, but now I talk to myself about all the stuff I do right.
What are my most important personal goals?
- To lose 35 pounds
- To increase my already good health by consciously being healthier
In that order, no matter how backward it may seem. This is my weightloss and I get to do it my way.
How am I going to meet these goals?
By exercising regularly in different and successively more difficult ways, and by making consistently good nutrition choices.
What about when I act like a little bitch?
- I will refer back to and re-read my most important personal goals.
- I will make and COMMIT to a system of rewards related to food.
- I will remind myself that there is no valid excuse, this is a choice and I am the one making it.
I will also remember that I used to think this was too fat, I thought this was ugly and unworthy, and I will remember that I was wrong.